lyrics

BROCK:
Let’s Brock!

I set my sights. I take aim.
I pull the trigger, now show me some brain!
That’s one, that’s two, that’s three,
Look how I’m saving the day.

It’s hard to think that a few weeks ago,
I was just your average joe.
I wore a tie to work, what a jerk,
But that’s when everything changed.

The dead came alive and they climbed right out of their graves!
Like hell ate too much and blew chunks all over the place.

I grabbed my shotgun and I ran outside!
The streets were full of walking corpses alive.
I was like man this wack! And I snapped!
And I just started to shoot.

I can’t deny that the violence was quite satisfying.
Every thunderous blast added mass to my self-esteem.
There ain’t no thrill like a kill that sends a head a flying.
If this zombie event never ends that’d be alright with me.

(Radical Shotgun Solo)

TOWNSPEOPLE:
Oooh, in the dead of night.
His muzzle fire shined like beacon of light.
Like lady liberty if she had a shotgun.

Oooh, He answered the call.
He just swept in and re-killed them all.
He shot them down to the ground back where they came from.

Oooh, How he gets by,
On a seemingly unlimited ammo supply.
Like Paul Revere in a way that don’t make sense much.

Oooh, We could have helped,
But Brock just swept in and did it all himself.
He’s the man he’s got the plan dontcha?

BROCK:
Uh…
Hey look, a zombie!

CHILD:
Wait, mister, that’s my mommy!

BROCK:
Sorry kid, even mombies have to die!

They’re carnivorous beasts who don’t feel in the least so remember.

TOWNSPEOPLE:
They may have been our children, they may have been our mothers.

BROCK:
You must show no remorse, stay the course and fill them with lead.

TOWNSPEOPLE:
They may have been our reverends or extra marital lovers

BROCK:
Our loved ones are gone, a grave fact we’ll all have to learn

TOWNSPEOPLE:
But they’re all nasty now. All we’ve got is each other.

BROCK:
Honor the dead with a gift, the gift of watching them burn.

TOWNSPEOPLE:
Watch them burn!

BROCK:
I set my sights. I take aim.
This ones for her, gonna blow ‘em away.
That’s one, that’s two, that’s three.
But I’m still filled with hate.

All I’ve got is this unquenchable thirst.
A taste for blood, revenge or worse.
Gonna wipe them out take them down, down to the last one.

Gonna hunt them down and line them up
Then I’ll mow them down and pile them up
Then I’ll dowse them down and light them up
and burn!

Gonna hunt them down and line them up
Then I’ll mow them down and pile them up
Then I’ll dowse them down and light them up
and burn.

Zoey:
It’ll be alright

Parker:
They shot my brother

Zoey:
Don’t give up the fight

Parker:
Blew up my mother

Zoey:
Just because we’re reviled, exiled and hated.
Doesn’t mean that we should not be elated.
Just look at all that the world has here for you…
Metaphorically.

Parker:
Chased me under ground

Zoey:
It’s safe and sound there

Parker:
Even loosed the hounds

Zoey:
Ohhh! I love puppies!

Parker:
I’m sick and tired of running, being hunted.
Chased by angry mobs with object blunted.
Just look at all that the world has done to you.

Your skin’s rotting away

Zoey:
But I look thinner

Parker:
A victim of decay

Zoey:
No need for dinner

Parker:
How can you feel with no heart beating?
Haven’t got a soul. Is it death who’s cheating?
You must have misgiving about un-living too.

Zoey:
Undead’s better than dead

Parker:
Well, maybe slightly

Zoey:
Beats a slug in the head

Parker:
Quite rightly

Zoey:
It sure as Hell beats Hell or eternal boredom.

Parker:
At least we’ve got a say in our postmortem.

Parker and Zoey:
Just look at all there’s left for us to do.

Zoey:
Even though it may be rotting, I’ll lend a helping hand.

Parker:
Let them bring their guns and chainsaws, together we can make a stand.

Parker and Zoey:
Though the chill of death has made us stiff it doesn’t mean we can’t be limber.

Parker:
Things were looking grim.

Zoey:
Now there’s a glimmer of hope.

Parker:
She seems pretty cool.

Zoey:
Think he’s a winner

Parker and Zoey:
Together we can weather almost any
obstacle or trial, be it one or many.

I think I’ve got a lot as long as I’ve got you.

Zoey:
Even though it may be rotting, I’ll lend a helping hand

Parker:
We’ll take our lives back.
Hey look, a snack!

Let them bring their guns and chainsaws, together we can make a stand.

Human:
Please don’t eat me!

Zoey:
We wouldn’t dare.

Parker and Zoey:
We may not know which way we’re going,
got no pulse or blood that’s flowing.

Parker:
But I think I’ve got a chance

Zoey:
I think I’ve got a chance.
This might be romance.

Parker:
This might be romance.

Parker and Zoey:
If I’ve got you.

Brock:
OMG.
Could it be
the one who used to be my lady?
Is it she?
OMG!

What is this feeling? Oh god, is it jealousy?

Death took her away way but to see her today
fills me with feelings that just aren’t OK.

And look who she’s with. Man, WTF!
Why must I have the hots for a stiff?

Now if I have something to prove — and I’d like to think that I do–
It’s that I’m a decisive kind of guy who knows just what to do.

But for my task to be complete I must kill every last zombie,
who knew the very last would be the one whose very passing
sent me on my quest?
Now what do I do?

Man, dude. Dude, man.
This sucks it!

BOB:
There he is. The man of the hour.
The pinnacle of potency, perception and power
The man who stopped the hordes of freshly disinterred
C’mon Brock why don’t you stand up and say a few words?

BROCK:
Not now, man. I’m not in the mood.
Feeling kind of like I’d like to drink in solitude.

BOB:
Brock, you are as humble as you are bold
but the account of your bravery just has to be told.
So you can just sit back and leave it up to me
and I’ll make sure your legend finds it’s place in history.

One stormy night, in the town over next
A child arrived unlike all the rest
Even the thunder paused to show its respect
for this baby boy born with hair on his chest.

BAR GUY #2:
He nursed upon the teat of a drunken stegosaurus
To ensure he would grow to be simply enormous

BAR GUY #3:
He possess the strength of, like, eleven thors.

BAR GUY #2:
And once he fought a lion and fashioned pants out of its roar.

BOB:
So if we gotta hail something then we might as well hail Brock
He’s a death-defying zombie-slaying dervish of buckshot
The mightiest warrior we’re likely to see ever
So raise your glasses high and yell his name out or whatever.

EVERYONE:
Hail Brock!

BAR Girl #1:
Like David but with pants on.

BAR Girl #2:
You’ll never find a man more handsome.

BAR Girl #3:
How I’d love to get my hands on.

BOB:
Literature is rife with that reluctant hero type,
But if Brock had any hesitation he kept it well disguised.

BAR GUY #2:
He plugged away, 30 a day
Without even batting an eye.

BAR GUY #3:
He kept their scalps but after a while
The pile got miles high.

BOB:
He never ate a meal that he didn’t kill himself.
He never killed a meal that he didn’t wrestle first.

BAR GUY #2:
He’ll drink Komodo Dragon spit to quench his manly thirst

BAR GUY #3:
Farmer’s hide your daughters, tonight he’s serving Brockwurst!

EVERYONE:
Hail Brock!

BOB:
By far the manliest

BAR GUY #2:
A one-man sausage fest

BAR GUY #3:
Oh, With that Jungle on his chest!

EVERYONE:

BAR GIRLS:
When he walks into a room, like dominoes we ladies swoon,
If we don’t take precautions he may spur another baby boom.
That chiseled chin, those sculpted abs, that polished grin, that molded can,
That perfect hair, that gorgeous tan, he plays guitar, he’s the perfect man.

BOB:
He drank a bowl of fire.

BROCK:
It was a candle. I was a child.

BOB:
He fought a baby bear.

BROCK:
It was small but it was wild.

BOB:
He can recite any work of Chaucer from the start until it’s finished

BROCK:
“When that Aprilis, with his showers swoot, The drought of” -Oh forget it.

BOB:
He bench pressed half a dozen men, along with their canoe

BROCK:
Actually it was a yacht, no scratch that it was two.

BOB:
He didn’t even look for cover when that tornado came to town

BROCK:
That’s because I fought it and I made it turn around,

Now, If you’re going to tell my story then you better tell it right
The people deserve an accurate description of my might
I mean, gaze upon these biceps, they cannot tell a lie.
They’ve chopped down a thousand cherry trees and turned water into wine.
Every muscle oozes thick, with pure American pride.
A Bald Eagle is my house and the American Flag my bride!

It’s about time you hailed someone and that someone should be me
If I hadn’t saved the day just think where you’d all be.
Holes in your heads, or just plain dead, or perhaps a fate far darker.
Oh my god! I saved your lives! Now pay me back with lager!

EVERYONE:
Hail Brock!

PARKER
It’ll be alright.
We’ve got each other.
Don’t need anything
But one another.

They call us beasts, they call us monsters
They call us ugly, hate and taunt us
But look inside, and you’ll see you as I do

(spoken)
You’re beautiful.

PARKER:

Look at you lying in the streets
the hero of the hour.
At the expense of other living beings
you garnered all this power.

Rise and shine, my friend.
Have you slept away your sins?
With your memory wiped clean
You can keep clear your conscience.

But you’re only fooling yourself.

This crusade you’re on is just a ruse
To mask your selfish need.
To be the big fish in a pool
Of Stagnant bigotry.

Now as your reign comes to a close
Try not to fear the pain
But before I suck it through your nose
I’d like to pick your brain.

Ladies and gentlemen court is now in session.

Indulge me if you dare
Tell me when did you declare.
That righteousness and murderous
were somehow a synonymous pair.

If we’re the evil ones
what are you, who kills for fun?
We struggle to survive all the while
We’re forced to hide from your guns

ZOMBIE CHORUS:
What kind of monster hides and runs?
What kind of victim kills for fun?

PARKER:
And now the table’s turned
You’re outnumbered and cornered
Now you stand trial for crimes most vile
I promise I’ll make sure you burn.

Your skin will shrivel and gray
with blood as thick as modeling clay
You’ll jerk and thrust as your limbs get stuck
And you’ll walk with us in the zombie parade.

Just think…

If you can visualize a world that’s free from fear and hatred
Then you’ve just visualized a fantasy that I’ve created.
A world where we don’t have to hide
where we are free to live our lives
It seems so perfect in my mind
How could it ever fail?

And we can freely do the things important to us all
Like ambling around aimlessly
Or hanging out in malls
We’ll indulge in all our favorite treats
Like flesh’n'chips and baby’s feet
And beer-battered brains,
How it sounds so stinkin’ yum!

There will be a renaissance like the world has never seen
When all the brilliant thinkers from throughout time convene.
We’ll learn from history’s greatest minds
Like Socrates, he’s back alive!
And Mark Twain will be on at five
Be sure and set your TiVo.

No malady can phase us because we are already deaded.
If there ever is a pandemic it was probably us who spread it.
Our parade will march across the land
From the melty peaks to the syringy sands
We’ll teach all who we meet our dance
And it goes a little like this.

I said it goes like this.

Parker and the zombies dance like they’re saving a rec-center.

PARKER:
And now a jury of your fears will read the verdict:

ZOMBIES:
Guilty!

PARKER:
I’ll repeat that if it was not clear but I’m sure you heard it:

ZOMBIES:
Guilty!

PARKER:
Just one bite and I’ll set things right and you’ll live like we do:

ZOMBIES:
Filthy!

PARKER:
One little bite, we’ll reclaim the night
and you’ll join the Zombie Parade.

ZOMBIES:
Come join the Zombie Parade
Come join the Zombie Parade
Come join the Zombie Parade
Come join the Zombie Parade

PARKER:
My life never began until I stopped living.
My heart never beat until it was still.
I had to die to feel more alive
But I don’t want to do it twice.

ZOEY:
Dying was a shock but it gave me the chance
To find someone new and try again from scratch.
What a cruel joke, Though I should be the ghost
I am the one who’s haunted by my past.

BROCK:
Was I just attacked by monsters
or could it be that I was saved
Pardoned by my baby, Fresh out of the grave?
But their skin is flaking off of their face
and they limp along at a grandpa’s pace
Their diet consists of human brains.
They’re souless, inhuman.

BROCK:
(spoken)
This is no time for merriment! There’s two more left… and I know where they’re headed.

PARKER:
He parades around with shotguns raised
with parts of us smeared across his face
and he won’t stop until we’re all erased
He’s souless, inhuman

ZOEY:
Remember it wasn’t always brains that we longed to eat
We didn’ t walk around in bodies made of rotting meat.
Just as we have changed, Brock’s heart has grown dark
but he is still a person and, like anyone, he’s flawed

PARKER:
That heart of his writhes in his chest like an oozing, fattened leach
pumping blood as black as an oil crest on a Louisiana beach.
Swift, his disease is, it feeds on the weaknesses of a fearful population
mutating their flaws into one hateful cause that results in our decapitation.

BROCK:
Whoever they were before the change.

PARKER:
Has shriveled up and died away.

PARKER & BROCK:
Empty shells of humanity
They’re zombies!

TOWNPERSON:
What?

BROCK:
Zombies! You know, Mindless monsters munching minds.

PARKER:
Bumbling brutes, brainlessly blind

TOWNSPERSON:
Stinking sickness, soul-sucking slime

PARKER:
Lunatic lemmings, leaping off the …uh, cliff

PARKER, BROCK, TOWNSPEOPLE:
Whoever they were before the change
has shriveled up and died away
empty shells of humanity
They’re Zombies!

TOWNPERSON:
What?

OTHER TOWNSPERSON:
Zombies

TOWNPERSON:
Oh. Rabid raving wretched rotters.

PARKER:
Paltry parade of pointless pride
fanatical fiends feasting on fright

TOWNSPERSON:
Hapless heathens. Hecho en Hell!

PARKER, BROCK, TOWNSPEOPLE:
Whoever they had been before
may as well just be ignored
cause now they’re beasts and nothing more

PARKER, BROCK, TOWNSPEOPLE:
They’re Zombies

ZOEY:
but –

PARKER:
Zombies!

ZOEY:
No! Confused conflicted creatures, cozened cavalcade
Connivingly convinced to conduct a crude crusade.

PARKER & ZOEY:
Whatever it was they once believed
got lost in the waves of an angry sea
Perhaps one day they’ll finally see.
But for now we’ll have to run.

BROCK:
Whatever it is they think they are
To us they’re just an unsightly mar
They’re not going to make it very far
It kind of makes me laugh…
ha…

You can run, my love, but your fate is not up to you.
You think you can have your brains and eat ‘em too?
When I catch up to you, you’ll find it quite shocking to see
That I am no longer your beloved little Brockly.

Whatever we may have had before now doesn’t mean a lick
You’re just one last item on my list that needs a tick
I’d rather see you in pieces than together with someone else.
If you can’t be with me then you can only be in hell.

PARKER:
Zoey it’s too dark.
I can’t see the path in front of me

ZOEY:
Just follow my voice
It’s gonna get lighter you will see.
It’s always darkest just before the dawn.
Please trust in me we must keep pushing on.

ZOEY & PARKER:
Soon enough the sun will rise
and light the way to paradise
Under some distant foreign skies
We’ll finally live in peace

BROCK:
Soon enough the sun will rise
and reveal the evil behind their eyes.
Once I hear their final cries
my heart will finally be free.

MOB:
The light above will bring a fire underneath
a flaming monument to our noble victory.
They have no souls, no hearts, they won’t feel any pain
So tearing them apart is both heroic and humane.

Scum of the Earth, vile and depraved.
Once we wipe them out,
we’ll see a brighter day.

PARKER:
We’re close, I can see the moon reflecting off the waves.
Maybe, after all, we’ll live to see another day.

MOB:
We’ve almost got them,
I can smell their rancid fetid skin.

PARKER:
Hurry, Zoey.
I can hear the humans closing in.

MOB:
We’re gonna see them fry tonight.

ZOEY:
I don’t want to die tonight.

MOB:
We’re gonna end this war tonight.

ZOEY & PARKER:
One way or another we’re gonna rest in peace tonight.

BROCK & TOWNSPEOPLE (same time):
One way or another we’re gonna rest in peace tonight.

BROCK:
I set my sights, I took aim
there’s one, there’s two, and here’s me
Look how I saved the day

They’re carniverous beasts who don’t feel in the least so remember

We showed no remorse, we stayed the course and filled them with lead
Look what we’ve done, baby; look what we’ve made
We’ve rid the dark of monsters
Check and you’ll see that none remain

We saved the day, mama; we wiped them out
But they were wicked, we were righteous
So the outcome never really was in doubt

My work is through, I saved the day,
I guess now I’ll fade away
Into the rising sun
The nightmare’s finally overAll the horror’s done
So give three cheers, hip hip hooray
Today humanity won…